When You've Been Hurt

If your brother sins, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. (Matt. 18:15)

​When someone upsets us or does or says something to offend us or just behaves in a way we know is sinful and will be harmful either to themselves or to someone else, what should we do about it?  Too often when the sin is not against us, we look the other way, believing that it’s not our problem, that someone else will deal with it.  However, when the sin has been committed against us, many Christians will often take one of two approaches.  Either they will stuff the emotions down inside and try and ignore them, all to keep the peace or they seek the advice of a trusted friend as to what to do about it or how to handle it.  All three of the above approaches are sinful and unbiblical approaches.  In Matthew 18:15 Jesus says, “If your brother sins…”  Some translations say, “If your brother sins against you…”  (ESV, NKJV).  However, the words “against you” are being supplied by our English translators.  The Greek New Testament simply says, per NASB and NIV, “If your brother sins, go and tell him his fault…”  Thus, what Jesus is saying is that if your brother sins in any way or against anyone, you have a responsibility to go to him and address the issue, whether the sin is against you or not.  But what is also worth noting is that Jesus says, “If your brother sins, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.”  In the Greek, the word “go” is in the imperative mood.  In other words, Jesus commands us to “go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.”  Thus, to not go and speak with the sinning brother or sister, is sinful on our part for it would be disobedient to Christ’s command.  Additionally, to go and speak with someone else about the issue, rather than going privately to the sinning brother or sister would also be sinful because Christ commands us to “go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.”  Christ does not command us to keep the matter to ourselves nor does he command us to seek the “advice” of someone else.  Christ commands us to address the sinning brother or sister directly and privately.  Of course, if the sinning brother or sister does not respond favorably to our correction, we don’t continue to keep the matter private.  In Matthew 18:16-17, Jesus gives additional steps to take.