Honor Your Father and Your Mother

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you. (Exod. 20:12; Duet. 5:16)
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​In Ephesians 6:2 Paul says this is the first commandment with a promise.  He is referring to the second half of the fifth commandment—“that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”  God is telling his people that the reason they want to treat their parents honorably, respectfully, and with dignity is so that their future will go well for them.  As they are preparing to enter into the promised land, if they want to live long and happy lives in the promised land, if they want their farms to do well, if they want their families to be healthy and blessed, if they want their marriages to be harmonious, they need to honor their fathers and their mothers.  We know this commandment very much applies today because Paul cites it in Ephesians 6:1-3, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’”  The problem for most of us is that we tend to think the fifth commandment only applies to children because Paul starts out that way.  But in both Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5, God is not just speaking to children.  He is speaking to all his people—children and adults.  To be sure, the dynamics of our relationship with our parents necessarily changes when we reach adulthood and when we enter into marriage, but the requirement and the promise of the fifth commandment never becomes obsolete.  We must always seek to treat our parents honorably, respectfully, and with dignity.  What is important to note is that if there is a promise attached to this commandment for obedience, then there is necessarily a curse attached to it for disobedience.  This is Paul’s implied point.  In other words, if you dishonor your parents, expect life to be hard for you and fraught with much difficulties.